By: Pastor Taiwo Odubiyi
1) Don’t be quick to throw a relationship or person away. This is because miracles happen every day, and you don’t want to lose yours. However, there’s no point staying in a bad relationship or a relationship that’s going nowhere, taking you round in circles. What should you do? Pray first, ask God for wisdom and guidance. Depending on who is involved, try to see what can be done to save the situation before making a decision. That is wisdom and spiritual maturity. If the relationship or person is bad for you, or wrong, then you should take a walk.
2) Ladies, look for a man who says “Yes Lord.”, a man who is submitted to God, who has the fear of God. (As I wrote in the novel – The Forever Kind of Love). Such a man will not cheat on you, and because he is committed to God, he will be committed to you. And a lady who is not committed to God will not be committed to you.
3) Men, look for a woman who will put her phone down and listen to you because you ask her to. This shows that she respects you and recognises you as her husband. If she’s angry at someone and you tell her to keep quiet, she keeps quiet, because you say so (as I wrote in the novel – Love on the Pulpit)
4) Ladies, look for a man who loves you enough to call you back if you hang up on him.
(Note: hanging up on the man you’re in a relationship with is wrong)
But if such a thing should happen, a man who loves you will call you back.
That is love, patience, maturity. Now, your intended partner may not be at this level yet, but if you love each other and are serious about getting married, you can help him become a better person.
This is a general advice.
Specifically, the first thing is to be sure you’re in a relationship with the right man.
According to 1Corinthians 13 – 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
5) Don’t say it doesn’t matter when it does matter. That is communication. Learn to talk, don’t keep malice.
6) If a person is cheating on you now when you’re not married, marriage is not going to change him/her. It may get worse unless there’s divine intervention in the person’s life.
And if he hits you now when you’re not yet married, what do you think will happen after marriage when you belong to him? Count the cost, look before you leap.
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