In this captivating interview, we sat down with Shirin Ariff, a professional speaker, author, and life transformation coach, whose journey is a testament to resilience and empowerment. Shirin has faced immense personal struggles, including two failed marriages and a harrowing battle with metastatic thyroid cancer. Yet, she has emerged stronger, turning her adversities into a mission to inspire and uplift others. Her story is one of unwavering faith, deep maternal love, and an unbreakable spirit.
NCNC: Thank you for finding time to have this interview with us. Your journey has been marked by significant personal struggles, including two failed marriages and a battle with metastatic thyroid cancer. How did you find the strength to rebuild your life and pursue your passions amidst such adversity?
Shirin: Thank you for allowing me to share my journey. It has been marked by significant personal struggles, but these challenges have shaped me into who I am today. Rebuilding my life and pursuing my passions amidst adversity required unwavering faith in God and a fierce love for my four young children. I needed to leave a legacy of love and leadership for them. I needed to be alive because, as their mother, I did not want my children to be separated and living in foster homes if I were to die. I believed deeply that no one could be there for them, care for them, and love them the way I do.
NCNC: You speak openly about the hardships of your first marriage, particularly dealing with your husband’s addiction issues. How did these early experiences shape your outlook on life and relationships?
Shirin: The significant lesson from my initial marriage was the realization that life and relationships are nuanced, existing in various shades of grey rather than strict black-or-white categories. Despite my ex-husband’s addiction, I recognized his intelligence, love, and kindness, which made it exceptionally challenging to separate from him. I came to understand that no matter how much I desired or attempted to help him overcome his addiction, it was beyond my influence or that of any rehabilitation center. It was solely up to him.
This experience highlighted the importance of addressing unhealed trauma and prioritizing mental health and well-being awareness. Providing individuals with effective coping tools and distinctions for navigating life’s challenges became evident as necessary. The formidable nature of addiction and its impact on not just the individual but the entire family became clear to me. Initially, I struggled with self-criticism when others blamed me for not transforming him into the perfect spouse. However, this journey taught me to cultivate compassion and empathy for those grappling with addiction within their families.
NCNC: Your second marriage brought you to Canada, but also presented new challenges, including an abusive relationship and facial paralysis. What strategies did you use to cope with these difficulties while adapting to a new country?
Shirin: Honestly, once I was in Canada, I felt alone, lost, and diminished. My responsibilities as a mother were what kept me going. My strong foundation in faith also sustained me; I prayed and meditated daily. Hearing my father’s voice brought me comfort, and I called him regularly to reassure myself that I wasn’t alone, even though he was in India. That was my therapy. I journaled every day and immersed myself in work. Staying busy and keeping my mind occupied truly helped me numb the “monkey chatter” in my head.
NCNC: Facing a diagnosis of metastatic thyroid cancer must have been a profound moment. Can you describe how this experience became a catalyst for change in your life and what lessons you drew from it?
Shirin: It wasn’t the diagnosis that truly impacted me. It was the moment on the operating table, right before I succumbed to the anesthesia, that I had a profound realization of my life’s importance and that I mattered. My children were all I could think about. In that moment, the older, diminished version of me ceased to exist. I made a promise to God that if I survived, I would make my life count. I didn’t know how, but I understood how precious it is to be alive and was grateful for the bonus life that was so graciously bestowed on me.
NCNC: As a mother of four, you’ve juggled significant personal and professional responsibilities. How did your role as a mother influence your journey toward empowerment and personal transformation?
Shirin: My children are my raison d’être, and I am deeply grateful to be their mother. This role has enabled me to cultivate high emotional intelligence and develop several powerful habits, such as showing up for them no matter what, nurturing unconditional love, practicing advocacy, resourcefulness, bravery, problem-solving, resilience, selflessness, adaptability, and role modeling. Motherhood has been an immersive course in leadership, empowerment, and personal transformation.
NCNC: Your work as a Life Transformation Coach and founder of the “Be Your Own North Star” program has helped many individuals. What motivated you to start these initiatives, and how do they reflect your personal philosophy?
Shirin: As I continued to work on my personal growth and transformation, I became more self-aware. I learned to trust myself and make choices for my own well-being instead of living a life of people-pleasing and fearing judgment and rejection. I know what it feels like to feel stuck, disempowered and confused. I discovered how to believe in my own abilities and give myself a chance. Like the North Star, which consistently provides direction in the darkness of the night sky, I learned to trust that flicker of light within, that inner intelligence and gut feeling. Becoming my own North Star is my lived experience, and I am on a mission to empower anyone who feels stuck and has lost faith in their inner guidance. I aim to help them return to themselves, reclaim their power, and live their lives feeling powerful, joyful and free.
NCNC: Your anthology “Cancer Heroes” and other best-selling books have inspired many. How do you approach writing about your personal experiences, and what impact do you hope to achieve with your stories?
Shirin: My approach is that of a humble servant, committed to service. My books are created in this spirit of service. Before writing, I surrender myself to a higher power and let my intention guide me. With my book, “Cancer Heroes,” I aim to spread hope and healing to readers. In this book, nine women, including myself, shared our live experiences with cancer to empower and comfort others.
NCNC: You’ve been honored with numerous awards and recognitions, including the Woman of Purpose International Women Achievers Award and the Woman on Fire Award. How do these accolades influence your mission and the work you do?
Shirin: I am deeply grateful for these awards and recognitions and honored to have been nominated. They make me feel seen and heard for my sincere efforts and commitment to serving humanity. These awards highlight the work I am doing, illuminating my purpose and mission. They open doors for me and I get the opportunity to be in different circles of influence to learn of new collaborations and possibilities. They inspire me to elevate my efforts and strive to be even better.
NCNC: Your vision includes revolutionizing education by instilling life skills in individuals. Can you elaborate on this vision and how you plan to implement it to foster more women leaders globally?
Shirin: Before I came to Canada, I was a schoolteacher. My experience with education systems worldwide is that they are primarily based on informative learning. While we produce professionals capable of earning money, we also face an unprecedented rise in mental health issues and suicide cases. Where are the Shakespeares, the Einsteins, and the world-class leaders like Martin Luther King and Gandhi? The current education system leaves little room for individuals to be their own North Star, as it often caters to stereotypes.
Now, more than ever, we need world-class leaders with a global vision. As a single human race on a shared planet, this awareness has been heightened by the internet and increased global travel. We need leaders with global and pluralistic mindsets. It is crucial to incorporate transformative learning into every classroom and home. This way, people don’t just acquire skills to get a job but also gain the tools and distinctions to support themselves and elevate their lives. They learn to navigate challenging times, support each other, forgive, and be grateful. This approach enhances their quality of life, ensuring no one is left behind. As they say in Africa, “Ubuntu”—I am because we are – That is my vision.